Thursday, October 29, 2009
That's how I feel
I wrote this short and sweet one about that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach every time I've ever had feelings for a guy who, close to 100 percent of the time, had those same feelings. The only problem was, they were for some other girl who seemed perfect and lovely and everything I wasn't.
I've seen the way you look at her
With that smile, it's like she's your whole world
And I sit silently and wonder how it would be if that were you and me
'Cause I can see us now, dancing in the moonlight, you holding my hand and making my eyes sparkle with your laugh
Should I tell you how I feel?
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
I'm the girl you walk past every day
The girl you see but don't know her name
And here I get goosebumps just watching you
So I smile and try to catch your eye
With my heart shaking inside
Feels like it's about to break
I know I'll never be the girl you choose
But I'll always be the girl who secretly loves you
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
You're the last boy I should be falling for
But maybe that makes me want you even more
And that other girl, does she know how lucky she is
To have you hanging on her every word?
Now every time I think of you, I see her face
And wish I could take her place
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
Now every time I think of you, I see her face
And wish I could take her place
I've seen the way you look at her
With that smile, it's like she's your whole world
And I sit silently and wonder how it would be if that were you and me
'Cause I can see us now, dancing in the moonlight, you holding my hand and making my eyes sparkle with your laugh
Should I tell you how I feel?
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
I'm the girl you walk past every day
The girl you see but don't know her name
And here I get goosebumps just watching you
So I smile and try to catch your eye
With my heart shaking inside
Feels like it's about to break
I know I'll never be the girl you choose
But I'll always be the girl who secretly loves you
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
You're the last boy I should be falling for
But maybe that makes me want you even more
And that other girl, does she know how lucky she is
To have you hanging on her every word?
Now every time I think of you, I see her face
And wish I could take her place
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too
Now every time I think of you, I see her face
And wish I could take her place
At some point
"At some point, you have to make a decision.
Boundaries don't keep other people out.
They fence you in.
Life is messy.
That's how we're made.
So, you can waste your lives drawing lines.
Or you can live your life crossing them."
-Greys Anatomy
Boundaries don't keep other people out.
They fence you in.
Life is messy.
That's how we're made.
So, you can waste your lives drawing lines.
Or you can live your life crossing them."
-Greys Anatomy
Friday, October 23, 2009
Once apon a time
once upon a time, there was this boy.
and he was not always very nice to me.
(admittedly, sometimes i wasn't very nice to him either)
but then one day i was having a really, really bad day -
like the worst day of all days -
(kind of had to do with that goodbye i was talking about last time)
but this boy (the not so very nice boy) noticed.
and even though he didn't have to,
scratch that.
even though he probably didn't want to
he took me to go get fix and mix frosties.
aka.
wonderfulness.
and that's my story. it's not fabulous, but that moment was.
i realized that the littlest, tiniest, minute things matter.
"you're hair looks nice"
or
"would you want to go out to lunch on saturday?"
....and those who may seem like the last person in the world to care,
can make all the difference.
now i have a new friend.
and he was not always very nice to me.
(admittedly, sometimes i wasn't very nice to him either)
but then one day i was having a really, really bad day -
like the worst day of all days -
(kind of had to do with that goodbye i was talking about last time)
but this boy (the not so very nice boy) noticed.
and even though he didn't have to,
scratch that.
even though he probably didn't want to
he took me to go get fix and mix frosties.
aka.
wonderfulness.
and that's my story. it's not fabulous, but that moment was.
i realized that the littlest, tiniest, minute things matter.
"you're hair looks nice"
or
"would you want to go out to lunch on saturday?"
....and those who may seem like the last person in the world to care,
can make all the difference.
now i have a new friend.
Do you remember
Do you remember what I was when we first met? I'd built walls around my heart, gated them, and thrown away the key. I had been hurt, I told you from the beginning. I'd been used, tricked, played with, but most of all, hurt. I thought it best to never fall in love again. So I locked my heart.
You figured it out quite soon. I said don't fall in love with me. I cannot fall in love with you. I won't. I'm too hurt, too damaged, too afraid to go through all of this once more. I'd decided love was just a scam. So we became friends, and that was okay with me, and with you. And it was all nice and comforting and I let myself trust you.
You would listen to me for hours, as we talked about everything and nothing. You learned why I wasn't willing to let anyone love me, and though you said you would never do that kind of a thing to me, I wasn't ready to trust you to test it out. I kept my walls intact even when I started remembering where I'd thrown the key. It was the only way to keep myself from falling in love.
But then something happened. I woke up three weeks ago and realised that I love you. And you said you love me, and you cannot promise we will be forever but you can promise not to hurt me. I believed you. I still didn't realize how I'd come to love you, how you came to find the key to my heart.
Now I know. You didn't find the key. You broke into my heart, and I let you. Just don't break my heart.
You figured it out quite soon. I said don't fall in love with me. I cannot fall in love with you. I won't. I'm too hurt, too damaged, too afraid to go through all of this once more. I'd decided love was just a scam. So we became friends, and that was okay with me, and with you. And it was all nice and comforting and I let myself trust you.
You would listen to me for hours, as we talked about everything and nothing. You learned why I wasn't willing to let anyone love me, and though you said you would never do that kind of a thing to me, I wasn't ready to trust you to test it out. I kept my walls intact even when I started remembering where I'd thrown the key. It was the only way to keep myself from falling in love.
But then something happened. I woke up three weeks ago and realised that I love you. And you said you love me, and you cannot promise we will be forever but you can promise not to hurt me. I believed you. I still didn't realize how I'd come to love you, how you came to find the key to my heart.
Now I know. You didn't find the key. You broke into my heart, and I let you. Just don't break my heart.
breaking
The sound of a heart breaking isn’t poetic. It is hollow. It is tragic. It calls for rituals – the denial, the shock, the anger, the disappointment, culminating in hopelessness. Just like a shrinking white star slowly collapsing inwardly, with memory drawn from every breath a blow. It’s like death without the sleeping part.
When I'm with you
Isn't it funny how there are certain places where the Muse just smacks you over the head with ideas? For me, that place is my warm and cozy bed, just before I fall into dreamland at night.
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about you again
My heart fell asleep at the wheel and crashed head-first into you
You're all around me, all this rubble and wreckage
But out of the smoke, your face, it's still such a beautiful view
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
I could leave and easily walk away
And maybe I should
If only I wasn't so sure
That every time you smile, with each word you say
It makes me want you even more
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
So who cares if I'm sleeping?
Just let me live forever dreaming
I've never felt this way before
How is it that you make me feel so secure?
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
That's why every time I close my eyes, I'll always see that beautiful view
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about you again
My heart fell asleep at the wheel and crashed head-first into you
You're all around me, all this rubble and wreckage
But out of the smoke, your face, it's still such a beautiful view
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
I could leave and easily walk away
And maybe I should
If only I wasn't so sure
That every time you smile, with each word you say
It makes me want you even more
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
So who cares if I'm sleeping?
Just let me live forever dreaming
I've never felt this way before
How is it that you make me feel so secure?
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
And maybe being sensible is the last thing I want to do
Be who I am, that's what you said to me
I'm not ashamed to say I may have fallen in love with you then
You give me an answer before I even ask the question
'Cause when I'm with you, I feel it, that indescribable, beautiful, head-over-heels, impossible, my heart's racing, unstoppable, wonderful fantasy
It's so easy to forget everything when I'm with you
That's why every time I close my eyes, I'll always see that beautiful view
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Between every kiss
I love the
silence
that breif,
beautiful
silence
between
every kiss
- love haiku by tyler knott gregson
silence
that breif,
beautiful
silence
between
every kiss
- love haiku by tyler knott gregson
Say Goodbye
I can't believe I thought this time would be different
How many second chances have I wasted on you?
Just when I made my decision
You came galloping in with your hypnotizing half truths
I guess I should have listened to my heart the first time
When it told me how all this would end
Maybe then I wouldn't be sitting here alone
And cursing your name again
Ooooh, and we both know why...
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
I almost forget everything, with one look in those eyes
They always said everything I was feeling
Until you used them as a weapon against me
Thought I was truly happy for the first time
It's sad to know it was because of all your deceiving
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
You're a smooth talker
Is that how you got me to forget everything around me
And fall down the rabbit hole head-first into your beauty?
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
How many second chances have I wasted on you?
Just when I made my decision
You came galloping in with your hypnotizing half truths
I guess I should have listened to my heart the first time
When it told me how all this would end
Maybe then I wouldn't be sitting here alone
And cursing your name again
Ooooh, and we both know why...
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
I almost forget everything, with one look in those eyes
They always said everything I was feeling
Until you used them as a weapon against me
Thought I was truly happy for the first time
It's sad to know it was because of all your deceiving
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
You're a smooth talker
Is that how you got me to forget everything around me
And fall down the rabbit hole head-first into your beauty?
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
'Cause in the morning light
Things don't feel so right
Funny how your lies really do shine a spotlight on the truth
You can say what you want, but I've heard it all before
And I can't bear to hear it anymore
After all this time, it turns out you're the only reason I ever needed
To say goodbye
Sunday, October 18, 2009
your still here
i'll admit it,
i was lonely,
i needed you then,
i wanted you to help fill those gaps of solitude,
i had no one and you were there,
in the back of my mind,
i saw no future,
i just saw the present,
i was alone and you were there,
you fell in love,
i felt sorry for you,
so i stayed,
i know heartbreak,
wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy,
and still, i was alone but you were there,
wanted to love you so badly,
like the way i once did for him,
yet, those memories of heartache,
have numbed veins that once pumped love,
i hate that you're in love with me,
i hate that i can't be in love with you
i found someone else,
he's what i want,
i'm not alone but i still want him,
and he wants me,
just not as much as i want him,
he needs me for right now,
and i'll take that,
no future in mind,
i've fallen for him,
he revived my heart,
but instead of feeling light,
it feels heavy,
he doesn't love me,
i can't tell you of my infidelity,
it'll hurt you,
and i can't bare the guilt,
besides, i don't want to be lonely,
and, well...
you're still here
i was lonely,
i needed you then,
i wanted you to help fill those gaps of solitude,
i had no one and you were there,
in the back of my mind,
i saw no future,
i just saw the present,
i was alone and you were there,
you fell in love,
i felt sorry for you,
so i stayed,
i know heartbreak,
wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy,
and still, i was alone but you were there,
wanted to love you so badly,
like the way i once did for him,
yet, those memories of heartache,
have numbed veins that once pumped love,
i hate that you're in love with me,
i hate that i can't be in love with you
i found someone else,
he's what i want,
i'm not alone but i still want him,
and he wants me,
just not as much as i want him,
he needs me for right now,
and i'll take that,
no future in mind,
i've fallen for him,
he revived my heart,
but instead of feeling light,
it feels heavy,
he doesn't love me,
i can't tell you of my infidelity,
it'll hurt you,
and i can't bare the guilt,
besides, i don't want to be lonely,
and, well...
you're still here
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Who I'd Like To Meet
Who I'd like to meet:
I want to meet someone amazing.
No, it's not a big ask...
- someone who takes my breath away.
The only requirement.
But love never seems to come around my neck of the woods to often.
I guess, I'll just play the waiting game. ♥
I want to meet someone amazing.
No, it's not a big ask...
- someone who takes my breath away.
The only requirement.
But love never seems to come around my neck of the woods to often.
I guess, I'll just play the waiting game. ♥
Friday, October 16, 2009
People keep telling
"People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve… I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either. I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong.
Love looks good on me."
Natalie Anne Erlanson
Love looks good on me."
Natalie Anne Erlanson
Falling out of love
I used to wait for you. Days would go by before I got a text or a hello, but I was so elated to finally hear from you that I ignored all the signs.
I forgot that I deserve better. I forgot that I actually need someone who's going to uplift and adore me, worship me, love me completely, just as I loved you. But I'll never get that from you.
I'll never get the sweet note or that hug or the awkward hand holding. I'll never be able to hold you again, to kiss you and run my fingers along your collar bone; you're simply too cruel. I can't deal with the insensitivity and the cutting jokes. I can't deal with the degrading behavior you're so trapped in.
You're sorry? Well that's wonderful, but I don't want apologies. I want a change in behavior, a change in character, and I'm not going to ask that of you because I know you too well. This is who you are, this is how you are, and I'm not supposed to try and change that. I'm accepting you as You, and moving on.
I'm falling out of love.
I forgot that I deserve better. I forgot that I actually need someone who's going to uplift and adore me, worship me, love me completely, just as I loved you. But I'll never get that from you.
I'll never get the sweet note or that hug or the awkward hand holding. I'll never be able to hold you again, to kiss you and run my fingers along your collar bone; you're simply too cruel. I can't deal with the insensitivity and the cutting jokes. I can't deal with the degrading behavior you're so trapped in.
You're sorry? Well that's wonderful, but I don't want apologies. I want a change in behavior, a change in character, and I'm not going to ask that of you because I know you too well. This is who you are, this is how you are, and I'm not supposed to try and change that. I'm accepting you as You, and moving on.
I'm falling out of love.
Trying to be perfect
so i’m trying pretty hard to be perfect. perhaps perfect is too strong; mindful, considerate, eager to please, call it what you will.
don’t text too much because it comes across as desperate. never send two texts in a row for the same reason. no facebook chat every time he logs on, ‘cause that’s desperate too, as is ‘Liking’ everything he posts, so don’t do that either. remember not to ask when we’re seeing each other next because nonchalance is key, right? don’t sound to eager when he suggests doing something in the future, remember, nonchalance. when you’re out with other people, don’t demand his attention, he’s not there just for you. and don’t make an issue of him making friends with new girls, that’s asking for trouble, you don’t want to look jealous and insecure. when he wants to go to sleep before you do, don’t latch onto him because you’ll seem weak, needy, intense.
all these crazy rules i’ve made up in my head so you don’t see past this facade. i’m not nonchalant, i over-think everything. i can be intense, and i’m definitely jealous at times. but in essence, at the crux of all this overanalysation; i am insanely in love with you. i just wish you knew how far away i am from nonchalance.
don’t text too much because it comes across as desperate. never send two texts in a row for the same reason. no facebook chat every time he logs on, ‘cause that’s desperate too, as is ‘Liking’ everything he posts, so don’t do that either. remember not to ask when we’re seeing each other next because nonchalance is key, right? don’t sound to eager when he suggests doing something in the future, remember, nonchalance. when you’re out with other people, don’t demand his attention, he’s not there just for you. and don’t make an issue of him making friends with new girls, that’s asking for trouble, you don’t want to look jealous and insecure. when he wants to go to sleep before you do, don’t latch onto him because you’ll seem weak, needy, intense.
all these crazy rules i’ve made up in my head so you don’t see past this facade. i’m not nonchalant, i over-think everything. i can be intense, and i’m definitely jealous at times. but in essence, at the crux of all this overanalysation; i am insanely in love with you. i just wish you knew how far away i am from nonchalance.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Childhood Crush
“She likened it to a childhood crush.
Such strong almost obsessive feelings, but more - it had depth.
She felt attracted to everything about him.
The way he talked, the way he dressed, the words he used.
Yet he was filled with a deep knowledge of wise insights.
He always said the right things -
Even when she didn’t want to hear them.
The darkness lifted and she could suddenly see beyond.
When he breezed into the room -
He brought clarity and brightness with him.
He was walking hope and she could tell that things for her be…
not fantastic or wonderful or happily ever after...
But that they could be okay.
And that was enough.
— Cecelia Ahern
Such strong almost obsessive feelings, but more - it had depth.
She felt attracted to everything about him.
The way he talked, the way he dressed, the words he used.
Yet he was filled with a deep knowledge of wise insights.
He always said the right things -
Even when she didn’t want to hear them.
The darkness lifted and she could suddenly see beyond.
When he breezed into the room -
He brought clarity and brightness with him.
He was walking hope and she could tell that things for her be…
not fantastic or wonderful or happily ever after...
But that they could be okay.
And that was enough.
— Cecelia Ahern
When one falls in love..
When one falls in love...
They fall in with their eyes closed.
And listen to love songs with their eyes half open.
And that's okay.
Tell yourself it will be okay.
And no matter what, you tried your best.
No, buying $100 worth of flowers won't make things okay.
Sometimes, saying sorry doesn't matter.
And sometimes it never will.
And then, you'll take the long way home.
But to say you tried your best...
That's worth everything.
One day forever won't end.
One day our chance will come.
We are all a mess.
A beautiful and chaotic bundle of a mess.
And someday, someone won't care.
Because we fall in love with our eyes closed.
They will only care that we are theirs.
Their mess.
And that is priceless.
That is beautiful.
That is worth something.
That is worth everything.
They fall in with their eyes closed.
And listen to love songs with their eyes half open.
And that's okay.
Tell yourself it will be okay.
And no matter what, you tried your best.
No, buying $100 worth of flowers won't make things okay.
Sometimes, saying sorry doesn't matter.
And sometimes it never will.
And then, you'll take the long way home.
But to say you tried your best...
That's worth everything.
One day forever won't end.
One day our chance will come.
We are all a mess.
A beautiful and chaotic bundle of a mess.
And someday, someone won't care.
Because we fall in love with our eyes closed.
They will only care that we are theirs.
Their mess.
And that is priceless.
That is beautiful.
That is worth something.
That is worth everything.
I'll be right beside you dear.
I drink coola cordial like water and
I still never know what to say.
I still don't know how to get out of bed
half the time. It's not pretty,
or endearing. I whisper you secrets,
I am still looking to be saved,
sometimes I am so weak,
sometimes I am so strong,
here you go, I;ll give you every-thing
for one more chance.
My heart is ugly,
but it could be all yours.
I still never know what to say.
I still don't know how to get out of bed
half the time. It's not pretty,
or endearing. I whisper you secrets,
I am still looking to be saved,
sometimes I am so weak,
sometimes I am so strong,
here you go, I;ll give you every-thing
for one more chance.
My heart is ugly,
but it could be all yours.
Monday, October 12, 2009
light blaring on us
"I want to be a lost poem in a stranger's coat pocket, that conveys the importance of you.
To assure you of my desire, to assure you of dreams. I want all the possibilities of you in writing.
I want to give you your reflection, I want your eyes on me, I want to travel to the lightness with you and stay there, and I want everything before you...
...everything before you to follow us like a trail behind me.
I want never to say goodbye to you, even on the street corner or the phone.
I want, I want so much... I'm breathless.
I want to put my power into a poem to burn a hole in your pocket so I can sew it.
I want my words to scream through you. I want the poem not to mean that much.
And I want to contradict myself by accident, and for you to know what I mean.
I want you to be distant and for me to feel you close, I want endless days when it's day and... nighttime never to end when it's night.
I want all the seasons in one day. I want the sun to set before us and come up in front of us.
I want water up to our waists and to be drenched by the rain, up to our ankles with holes in our shoes.
...with holes in our shoes. I want to think your thoughts because they're mine.
I want only what's urgent with you.
I want to get in the way of the barriers and I want you to be a tough guy when you're supposed to,
like you do already.
...when you're supposed to. And I want you to be tender, like you do already.
And I want us to have met for a reason and I want that reason to be important.
And I want it to be bigger than us, I want it to take over us.
I want to forget. I want to remember us.
And when you say you love me I don't want to think you really mean New York City, and all the fun
we have in it.
And I want your smile always, and your grimaces too.
I want your scar on my lips, and I want your disappointments in my heart.
I want your strength in my soul and I want your soul in my eyes.
I want to believe everything you say, and I do.
And I want you to tell me what's best when I don't know.
And when you're lost I want to find you.
And when you're weary I want to give you steeples and cathedral thoughts and coliseum dreams.
I want to drag you from the darkness and kneel with you exhausted with the blinding light blaring on us... and..."
To assure you of my desire, to assure you of dreams. I want all the possibilities of you in writing.
I want to give you your reflection, I want your eyes on me, I want to travel to the lightness with you and stay there, and I want everything before you...
...everything before you to follow us like a trail behind me.
I want never to say goodbye to you, even on the street corner or the phone.
I want, I want so much... I'm breathless.
I want to put my power into a poem to burn a hole in your pocket so I can sew it.
I want my words to scream through you. I want the poem not to mean that much.
And I want to contradict myself by accident, and for you to know what I mean.
I want you to be distant and for me to feel you close, I want endless days when it's day and... nighttime never to end when it's night.
I want all the seasons in one day. I want the sun to set before us and come up in front of us.
I want water up to our waists and to be drenched by the rain, up to our ankles with holes in our shoes.
...with holes in our shoes. I want to think your thoughts because they're mine.
I want only what's urgent with you.
I want to get in the way of the barriers and I want you to be a tough guy when you're supposed to,
like you do already.
...when you're supposed to. And I want you to be tender, like you do already.
And I want us to have met for a reason and I want that reason to be important.
And I want it to be bigger than us, I want it to take over us.
I want to forget. I want to remember us.
And when you say you love me I don't want to think you really mean New York City, and all the fun
we have in it.
And I want your smile always, and your grimaces too.
I want your scar on my lips, and I want your disappointments in my heart.
I want your strength in my soul and I want your soul in my eyes.
I want to believe everything you say, and I do.
And I want you to tell me what's best when I don't know.
And when you're lost I want to find you.
And when you're weary I want to give you steeples and cathedral thoughts and coliseum dreams.
I want to drag you from the darkness and kneel with you exhausted with the blinding light blaring on us... and..."
Jackie & John
With all of the love that you post, I felt compelled to share my favorite love story - the following post to my personal blog which references an evening I spent with the man I love. He's typically opposed to any type of dancing, but on this particular [magical] evening he took my hand and led me to the middle of a crowded floor in a bar with no dance floor. We danced alone to the carefully selected music of the jukebox - the soundtrack of our lives together playing - and it was beautiful.
"As I sat in a crowded room full of strange faces,
soberly observing,
imagining the mysteries behind each set of unrecognizable eyes,
I turned to see this smile.
A sparkle in his eyes, his arms outstretched,
in an instant our bodies were contiguous
where, even over the thump, thump of the deafening beat,
our hearts rang strong against one another.
Tangled together,
we were a pendulum amongst battered barstools and broken tables.
Strangers' stories lay neglected and forgotten,
a heap of mystery in a cold dark corner.
For this is the only story that matters.
It is kept safe and warm between our beating hearts.
Eyes locked, we could not help but smile:
"This is Love."
"As I sat in a crowded room full of strange faces,
soberly observing,
imagining the mysteries behind each set of unrecognizable eyes,
I turned to see this smile.
A sparkle in his eyes, his arms outstretched,
in an instant our bodies were contiguous
where, even over the thump, thump of the deafening beat,
our hearts rang strong against one another.
Tangled together,
we were a pendulum amongst battered barstools and broken tables.
Strangers' stories lay neglected and forgotten,
a heap of mystery in a cold dark corner.
For this is the only story that matters.
It is kept safe and warm between our beating hearts.
Eyes locked, we could not help but smile:
"This is Love."
Of lovers & friends
you see, i never meant to feel like this
it wasnt planned til you became my first kiss
i hated you for so long, i thought you were an ass
but baby you talked to me, got to know me
and now this gut feeling wont pass
youre the unrequited love as they say
months passed, march, april may
im still in love.
it wasnt planned til you became my first kiss
i hated you for so long, i thought you were an ass
but baby you talked to me, got to know me
and now this gut feeling wont pass
youre the unrequited love as they say
months passed, march, april may
im still in love.
And so I wonder
He said he would be there for me,
He said he would never leave me,
No one knows how i feel deep inside,
No one was there when it happened in real life,
Some say I left for another guy,
Some say I left because I've had enough,
No...
I left because everything became different,
Him and i became different,
Our love is like a shattered glass now,
Our love could never grow again,
He moved on,
I couldn't,
He came back,
I came back,
He moved on,
I moved on..
I'm tired of crying for him,
Because I know he won't cry for me,
He blames me for everything,
He doesn't blame himself,
I keep it inside,
I carry with me all the burden too,
I don't want to look back anymore,
For I Don't want to cry over him again,
I don't want to fight back for him,
Because I know he won't hear me,
And he chooses to not hear me,
I moved on..
It's all been done,
I'm someone new now,
So don't come looking for me now, (well,to tell you the truth,he never did. never tried)
Live a life full of smiles and happiness,
Go out without telling anyone about it and feel blessed,
I thanked the lord for changing me into someone new,
Something worthwhile and got rid of all my blues,
He can keep everything,
I can keep the memories,
I ask for nothing,
Everything is done.
I did this when i was young. there's something about this that i could never forget of what happened. i hope you are reading this Keem Musdi. to know how much pain you've caused me and i to you. you and i both know the truth. there's no easy way to say sorry but to rather lie to ourselves and build up those hatred inside of the two of us.
And so i wonder if you do still think about me.
And so i wonder if you do still love me inside somewhere.
And so i wonder if there will ever be another chance for us to tie the knot and never let go.
And so i wonder.
And so i wonder.
I never got the chance to say thank you. I know I'll never be given the chance to apologize eventhough i've apologized millions of times (i assure you i can apologize a million more just for you. let me apologize. I don't want to carry this burden anymore). i don't think i'll ever have the chance to do so. wherever you are. i hope sooner or later maybe someday,everything will be okay again.
He said he would never leave me,
No one knows how i feel deep inside,
No one was there when it happened in real life,
Some say I left for another guy,
Some say I left because I've had enough,
No...
I left because everything became different,
Him and i became different,
Our love is like a shattered glass now,
Our love could never grow again,
He moved on,
I couldn't,
He came back,
I came back,
He moved on,
I moved on..
I'm tired of crying for him,
Because I know he won't cry for me,
He blames me for everything,
He doesn't blame himself,
I keep it inside,
I carry with me all the burden too,
I don't want to look back anymore,
For I Don't want to cry over him again,
I don't want to fight back for him,
Because I know he won't hear me,
And he chooses to not hear me,
I moved on..
It's all been done,
I'm someone new now,
So don't come looking for me now, (well,to tell you the truth,he never did. never tried)
Live a life full of smiles and happiness,
Go out without telling anyone about it and feel blessed,
I thanked the lord for changing me into someone new,
Something worthwhile and got rid of all my blues,
He can keep everything,
I can keep the memories,
I ask for nothing,
Everything is done.
I did this when i was young. there's something about this that i could never forget of what happened. i hope you are reading this Keem Musdi. to know how much pain you've caused me and i to you. you and i both know the truth. there's no easy way to say sorry but to rather lie to ourselves and build up those hatred inside of the two of us.
And so i wonder if you do still think about me.
And so i wonder if you do still love me inside somewhere.
And so i wonder if there will ever be another chance for us to tie the knot and never let go.
And so i wonder.
And so i wonder.
I never got the chance to say thank you. I know I'll never be given the chance to apologize eventhough i've apologized millions of times (i assure you i can apologize a million more just for you. let me apologize. I don't want to carry this burden anymore). i don't think i'll ever have the chance to do so. wherever you are. i hope sooner or later maybe someday,everything will be okay again.
Being together
I love being held. I love when I am in someones arms, and I know that they would do anything for me. yea, I know its selfish but that is what I love. I love waking up to someone and smiling and having them smile back. When you are cold, and you are sharing a blanket and you have their sweatshirt on. your hair is all a mess and your breath smells and you nuzzle up to their neck and they nuzzle you back and wrap their arms around you. and you smile. And fall right back asleep.
I love walking into a room and he smiles back at you, you work your way over, making googiley eyes just for fun until you reach him, and then he wraps you in a big hug and you say hi and act like you haven’t seen each other in ages. That is a great feeling.
The happy moments, the secret smiles. Going out with his family and saying something they don’t get, but he gives me that look that tells me he got it and he found it funny. Him telling me how beautiful I am in front of his family. Them looking at us and seeing how much we adore each other. The feeling of pride when his mom tells me she is happy her son has found someone so worth his love.
The tears after a big fight. And then him rushing over to dry them with kisses, not being able to sleep until he knows I am better.
The silent way people drift apart, the way the secret smiles fade. The fights end in crying with no one to hold you. the way your world seems to collapse, but you know this isn’t the way its supposed to be.
YELLING AT HIM TO FIX IT. even though you know you did more damage than he did.
After the break up, the feeling of betray as you look at another guy. Knowing you shouldn’t be looking, you don’t belong to them. knowing he still doesn’t look at anyone but you.
When you hang out, the way his eyes watch yours,the way they say sorry, the way you know he wants to kiss you and make all the pain go away. Trying your hardest not to cry because he refuses to become a couple together.
Being completely in love with him. and him with you.
Being best friends.
Him thinking he is not good enough, so he wants you to find someone that is.
You refusing to find someone else because you want him.
The complications. The tears. The heartache.
The feeling of love through it all.
I love walking into a room and he smiles back at you, you work your way over, making googiley eyes just for fun until you reach him, and then he wraps you in a big hug and you say hi and act like you haven’t seen each other in ages. That is a great feeling.
The happy moments, the secret smiles. Going out with his family and saying something they don’t get, but he gives me that look that tells me he got it and he found it funny. Him telling me how beautiful I am in front of his family. Them looking at us and seeing how much we adore each other. The feeling of pride when his mom tells me she is happy her son has found someone so worth his love.
The tears after a big fight. And then him rushing over to dry them with kisses, not being able to sleep until he knows I am better.
The silent way people drift apart, the way the secret smiles fade. The fights end in crying with no one to hold you. the way your world seems to collapse, but you know this isn’t the way its supposed to be.
YELLING AT HIM TO FIX IT. even though you know you did more damage than he did.
After the break up, the feeling of betray as you look at another guy. Knowing you shouldn’t be looking, you don’t belong to them. knowing he still doesn’t look at anyone but you.
When you hang out, the way his eyes watch yours,the way they say sorry, the way you know he wants to kiss you and make all the pain go away. Trying your hardest not to cry because he refuses to become a couple together.
Being completely in love with him. and him with you.
Being best friends.
Him thinking he is not good enough, so he wants you to find someone that is.
You refusing to find someone else because you want him.
The complications. The tears. The heartache.
The feeling of love through it all.
general
General
On the outside i'm ya average chick. Fifteen years old, going to school & trying to get a job. I'm single & not looking, waiting for him to find me. But, on the inside i can promise you won't find another girl like me in a lifetime. I'm not up myself, my personality is just rare. My family is nuts just like everyone else's, and recently it's gotten very small but the three kiddo's i live with now, i can't imagine life without them. I love all of my friends, they really deserve medals for the things they've gotten me through and how they have made me laugh but i keep esther and a few others close to my heart. I've got a plan for my life, & i intend to see it through til the day i die. I'm not perfect and i'm not always right i stuff up like everyone else and i already have many many times, but .. i'm not gonna quit. A lot of people rely on me and i refuse to let them down. That's it for now kids, peaaacccceeeeee ! xo
:D
On the outside i'm ya average chick. Fifteen years old, going to school & trying to get a job. I'm single & not looking, waiting for him to find me. But, on the inside i can promise you won't find another girl like me in a lifetime. I'm not up myself, my personality is just rare. My family is nuts just like everyone else's, and recently it's gotten very small but the three kiddo's i live with now, i can't imagine life without them. I love all of my friends, they really deserve medals for the things they've gotten me through and how they have made me laugh but i keep esther and a few others close to my heart. I've got a plan for my life, & i intend to see it through til the day i die. I'm not perfect and i'm not always right i stuff up like everyone else and i already have many many times, but .. i'm not gonna quit. A lot of people rely on me and i refuse to let them down. That's it for now kids, peaaacccceeeeee ! xo
:D
Please Understand
it happened just like every other time. different place, different people, different words, i thought even a different me but still the same outcome. it always comes out the same. i think ive moved on, i think im ready to be friends again, i think im over him. so i start a conversation, begin catching up, rebuilding, starting over. every time im so positive that this time will be the last time that he and i have to become friends, this time will be different, this time it will work. this time everything i want will come true. i was so sure this time.
we're friends, we're together, we're hurting each other, we're fighting, we're alone again.
then we give each other some space and try it all over again. you would have thought at least one of us would learn from the millionth time. but neither of us do.
loves meant to be simple. if you love him and he loves you then you are in love. if you are in love you are together. its never been like that though. not even from the first minute we met.
i fell for him almost as soon as i saw him. there was just this amazing link between the two of us. it was so strong people neither of us knew picked up on it. it wasnt that i had a crush on him, it wasnt that i liked him, it was more. i was in love, not that i knew it at that point. and then it started. i fell and he didnt. i changed he fell i changed back. we were together and then we werent. we moved on then we moved back. and sure enough we ended again. he fell and i didnt. i fell and he couldnt. but then he did. i finally caught on and fell into him. at that moment we fell evenly, finally. we were equals in love, nobody was king and nobody was jester. and it was wonderful. then we both fell away. and then back together.
and now im stuck right back where i was. completely in love and with a totally broken heart. i want more than anything else to be able to accept that we arent going to go anywhere because we arent. i just want to be at the stage where i know in my mind and my heart that while we arent going to work god dammit we gave it our best shot. and its not that i havent tried everything i can think of to move on. you can bet your life that ive tried every trick in the book. in fact i rewrote the book, adding in all my crazy desperate ideas that i tried once i had exhausted the book. but still when i lie awake at night im left wondering if i really did try everything. if i really did try my hardest. or if i only made it look like that. because, really, deep down somewhere even though he is so wrong for me and i am so wrong for him maybe i dont want to stop loving him. but the smart thing, the logical thing to do is to get the communication happening between my head and my heart. get my head to make my heart see reason. get it to see the truth about me and him. we dont work. we wont work.
we arent the right kind of wrong. we arent the wrong kind of right. we are just the wrong kind of wrong.
being right means that i wont have him to tell me that mum didnt mean what she just said.
being right means that i wont get any more applogy texts cause he fell asleep on me the night before.
being right means that i cant claim a bed to myself after parties that he hasnt gone to.
being right means that i wont have him to cover me in sand when i fall asleep at the beach.
being right means that i dont have him to convince me to miss school or work cause he knew that i secretly wanted to spend the day with him.
being right means that i dont have an offer from him to warn off guys for me, even if its just an offer.
being right means that i wont be thinking about him when im singing along to love songs.
being right means that i cant have anymore of his goodbye kisses.
being right means that i wont have him.
being right means that i loose everything that has made up the past two years.
so i know that this isnt going to work. i know that i am going to get hurt again. i know that my friends will have run out of sympathy by the next time i come crying to them. i know that im missing out on wonderful people by being caught up with him. i know that im not going to come out of this alive. but also i know that im in love.and im not ready to let that go just yet.or ever.
so lets be wrong together. not the good kind. not the right kind. the wrong kind. our kind.
cause i know no matter how much i deny it, not matter what i tell my friends, no matter who im with or what im doing, im thinking up ways to make us work.
we're friends, we're together, we're hurting each other, we're fighting, we're alone again.
then we give each other some space and try it all over again. you would have thought at least one of us would learn from the millionth time. but neither of us do.
loves meant to be simple. if you love him and he loves you then you are in love. if you are in love you are together. its never been like that though. not even from the first minute we met.
i fell for him almost as soon as i saw him. there was just this amazing link between the two of us. it was so strong people neither of us knew picked up on it. it wasnt that i had a crush on him, it wasnt that i liked him, it was more. i was in love, not that i knew it at that point. and then it started. i fell and he didnt. i changed he fell i changed back. we were together and then we werent. we moved on then we moved back. and sure enough we ended again. he fell and i didnt. i fell and he couldnt. but then he did. i finally caught on and fell into him. at that moment we fell evenly, finally. we were equals in love, nobody was king and nobody was jester. and it was wonderful. then we both fell away. and then back together.
and now im stuck right back where i was. completely in love and with a totally broken heart. i want more than anything else to be able to accept that we arent going to go anywhere because we arent. i just want to be at the stage where i know in my mind and my heart that while we arent going to work god dammit we gave it our best shot. and its not that i havent tried everything i can think of to move on. you can bet your life that ive tried every trick in the book. in fact i rewrote the book, adding in all my crazy desperate ideas that i tried once i had exhausted the book. but still when i lie awake at night im left wondering if i really did try everything. if i really did try my hardest. or if i only made it look like that. because, really, deep down somewhere even though he is so wrong for me and i am so wrong for him maybe i dont want to stop loving him. but the smart thing, the logical thing to do is to get the communication happening between my head and my heart. get my head to make my heart see reason. get it to see the truth about me and him. we dont work. we wont work.
we arent the right kind of wrong. we arent the wrong kind of right. we are just the wrong kind of wrong.
being right means that i wont have him to tell me that mum didnt mean what she just said.
being right means that i wont get any more applogy texts cause he fell asleep on me the night before.
being right means that i cant claim a bed to myself after parties that he hasnt gone to.
being right means that i wont have him to cover me in sand when i fall asleep at the beach.
being right means that i dont have him to convince me to miss school or work cause he knew that i secretly wanted to spend the day with him.
being right means that i dont have an offer from him to warn off guys for me, even if its just an offer.
being right means that i wont be thinking about him when im singing along to love songs.
being right means that i cant have anymore of his goodbye kisses.
being right means that i wont have him.
being right means that i loose everything that has made up the past two years.
so i know that this isnt going to work. i know that i am going to get hurt again. i know that my friends will have run out of sympathy by the next time i come crying to them. i know that im missing out on wonderful people by being caught up with him. i know that im not going to come out of this alive. but also i know that im in love.and im not ready to let that go just yet.or ever.
so lets be wrong together. not the good kind. not the right kind. the wrong kind. our kind.
cause i know no matter how much i deny it, not matter what i tell my friends, no matter who im with or what im doing, im thinking up ways to make us work.
It's hip too be square
It’s hip to be a square. No, it really is. Brainiacs are the new cool kids in school, replacing those pesky mean girls, football jocks and wannbe-cool Danny Zukos.
And you know what? I couldn’t be happier about this long-awaited shift in “power.” As the song goes, it’s a new dawn and a new day. And yes, it’s got me feeling oh-so-very good.
You see, in a true battle, brains will always beat out brawn. It’s just the natural order of things, really, and society is finally catching on to its natural leanings. Shows like CBS’ The Big Bang Theory and FOX’s new break-out, sing-along, tap-your-toes hit, Glee, are teaching a whole new generation a life-altering lesson: It’s OK to let your true self shine. It’s cool to unleash your inner geek.
This is actually something I already knew. Quite well, actually. I called this up-and-coming trend six months ago. Actually, it was more like two years ago when I began to see the creatures coming fast and furious out of hibernation. At first, they were few in number, and stood in small clusters together; maybe they were scared of this new world or something. Before long, I began to see them everywhere: on the street, in restaurants, in bookstores and of course, at Best Buy – a place I suppose is the equivalent of the Bat Cave. Their own headquarters of sorts.
They were no longer afraid to slink in the dark shadows.
And, of course, I just had to smile. Because for my entire life, I’ve been one of them. I’ve never pretended to be the traditional sort of “cool,” something I always thought was a bit boring, to be quite honest.
I suppose I learned this lovely lesson from my father. He was the classic “nerd.” He carried a pocket protector. He loved watching specials on The History Channel (he had a weakness for dinosaur stories). And he could usually be found staying up late at night poring over his school books, a look of excitement crossing his face as he approached each math problem or chemistry equation as if it were a Sudoku puzzle.
But his secret was that he made what others deemed downright uncool look downright awesome. And it was.
So when I find myself taking on his old habits – I love to organize my pens and pencils, for one – I just have to smile. Because I think it’s cool. And for the record, I fell in love with Sudoku long before the rest of the world caught the puzzle bug. I can finish those things in record time.
Then when these so-called “nerd” shows comes along, we couldn’t help but be instantly hooked.
The bottom line: we’ve learned a thing or two from these shows and their loveable characters (I challenge you to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory and try to resist falling in love with Sheldon. It’s darn-near impossible). They do what they love. They do what makes them happy, whether it’s singing or painting or sports or competing in physics bowl championships – again, consult Sheldon on this one.
They don’t care what the rest of the world has to say. If you ask me, that’s moxie right there.
So, to all you fellow “geeks” out there, I raise my pocket protector in a nod of solidarity to you all.
Smart and individuality, just like rock ‘n roll in the ‘50s, is definitely here to stay, just as it should be.
And you know what? I couldn’t be happier about this long-awaited shift in “power.” As the song goes, it’s a new dawn and a new day. And yes, it’s got me feeling oh-so-very good.
You see, in a true battle, brains will always beat out brawn. It’s just the natural order of things, really, and society is finally catching on to its natural leanings. Shows like CBS’ The Big Bang Theory and FOX’s new break-out, sing-along, tap-your-toes hit, Glee, are teaching a whole new generation a life-altering lesson: It’s OK to let your true self shine. It’s cool to unleash your inner geek.
This is actually something I already knew. Quite well, actually. I called this up-and-coming trend six months ago. Actually, it was more like two years ago when I began to see the creatures coming fast and furious out of hibernation. At first, they were few in number, and stood in small clusters together; maybe they were scared of this new world or something. Before long, I began to see them everywhere: on the street, in restaurants, in bookstores and of course, at Best Buy – a place I suppose is the equivalent of the Bat Cave. Their own headquarters of sorts.
They were no longer afraid to slink in the dark shadows.
And, of course, I just had to smile. Because for my entire life, I’ve been one of them. I’ve never pretended to be the traditional sort of “cool,” something I always thought was a bit boring, to be quite honest.
I suppose I learned this lovely lesson from my father. He was the classic “nerd.” He carried a pocket protector. He loved watching specials on The History Channel (he had a weakness for dinosaur stories). And he could usually be found staying up late at night poring over his school books, a look of excitement crossing his face as he approached each math problem or chemistry equation as if it were a Sudoku puzzle.
But his secret was that he made what others deemed downright uncool look downright awesome. And it was.
So when I find myself taking on his old habits – I love to organize my pens and pencils, for one – I just have to smile. Because I think it’s cool. And for the record, I fell in love with Sudoku long before the rest of the world caught the puzzle bug. I can finish those things in record time.
Then when these so-called “nerd” shows comes along, we couldn’t help but be instantly hooked.
The bottom line: we’ve learned a thing or two from these shows and their loveable characters (I challenge you to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory and try to resist falling in love with Sheldon. It’s darn-near impossible). They do what they love. They do what makes them happy, whether it’s singing or painting or sports or competing in physics bowl championships – again, consult Sheldon on this one.
They don’t care what the rest of the world has to say. If you ask me, that’s moxie right there.
So, to all you fellow “geeks” out there, I raise my pocket protector in a nod of solidarity to you all.
Smart and individuality, just like rock ‘n roll in the ‘50s, is definitely here to stay, just as it should be.
Oh, This Bittersweet Life
Please know there are much better things
in life than being lonely or liked
or bitter or mean or self-concious.
Go love someone just because.
I know your heart may be badly bruised,
or even the victim of numerous knifings
but it will always heal,
even if you don't want it to
it keeps going.
There are the most fantastic, beautiful
things and people out there.
I promise.
It's up to you
to find them.
in life than being lonely or liked
or bitter or mean or self-concious.
Go love someone just because.
I know your heart may be badly bruised,
or even the victim of numerous knifings
but it will always heal,
even if you don't want it to
it keeps going.
There are the most fantastic, beautiful
things and people out there.
I promise.
It's up to you
to find them.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Mean girls
I have two points I'd like to make today.
Numero Uno:
Why is it that one of the most basic lessons our parents taught us as children seem to be one of the hardest to follow for others?
WHY can't we get along?
WHY don't we treat others kindly?
Why must girls say really mean things intentionally just so it can get back to the person they are talking about?
(i promise this is just theoretical...sort-of.)
But honestly, what happened to just being nice?
Some say it's "too fake"
Others may say "they don't deserve it"
I say, that's a nice excuse.
But being nice - no matter who or what your circumstances may be - it matters.
and it counts.
Numero Dos:
I could go off for HOURS on this one,
but instead...
let's look at what this darling girl once said:
(because i couldn't have said it better myself)
"Ode to the Oblivious Female:
Oh oblivious female, your plight is getting old
If I am with him, holding his hand, walking side-by-side, laughing with him and hugging him, I am his girlfriend.
Do not ask him out.
Thank you for your time."
and thank you, for yours.
Numero Uno:
Why is it that one of the most basic lessons our parents taught us as children seem to be one of the hardest to follow for others?
WHY can't we get along?
WHY don't we treat others kindly?
Why must girls say really mean things intentionally just so it can get back to the person they are talking about?
(i promise this is just theoretical...sort-of.)
But honestly, what happened to just being nice?
Some say it's "too fake"
Others may say "they don't deserve it"
I say, that's a nice excuse.
But being nice - no matter who or what your circumstances may be - it matters.
and it counts.
Numero Dos:
I could go off for HOURS on this one,
but instead...
let's look at what this darling girl once said:
(because i couldn't have said it better myself)
"Ode to the Oblivious Female:
Oh oblivious female, your plight is getting old
If I am with him, holding his hand, walking side-by-side, laughing with him and hugging him, I am his girlfriend.
Do not ask him out.
Thank you for your time."
and thank you, for yours.
When your gone
When I was young, you looked so tall
And I felt so small
I'd hold your hand and stare into your eyes
And all the fear I felt inside blew away with the wind
It was hard not to be afraid in this big old place
But with you, I knew I was safe
It was a big wide world
And I was daddy's little girl
You were everything to me
You're still everything I need
It's hard to walk through life without a map
Thinking of the life you had
Cursing everything that seems so wrong
It's hard to walk alone
When you can't find your way back home
It's hard 'cause I don't want to believe you're gone
The pictures on the wall, the ghost of your voice down the hall
It all reminds me of you
But they're just visions in the dark, memories on my heart
There's still so much I wish you knew
It was a big wide world
And I was daddy's little girl
You were everything to me
You're still everything I need
It's hard to walk through life without a map
Thinking of the life you had
Cursing everything that seems so wrong
It's hard to walk alone
When you can't find your way back home
It's hard 'cause I don't want to believe you're gone
When you're gone
I can't breathe
When you're gone
I'm drowning in my grief
When you're gone
I'm still that little girl
When you're gone
I'm still alone in that big wide world
It's hard to walk through life without a map
Thinking of the life you had
Cursing everything that seems so wrong
It's hard to walk alone
When you can't find your way back home
It's hard 'cause I don't want to believe you're gone
You're still everything to me
You'll always be everything I need
Feels like letting go
I can still see your face in my head
I can still hear every words you ever said
But it's all fading into a memory now
I've lost track of time
And you've fallen behind
As I watch the curtain of our life fall down
I'm not the one who said goodbye
So why am I still let you make me cry
Didn't you know I still needed you in my life?
To hear a song and think of you
To run my hands over all your old clothes
Is this what it feels like letting go?
To see my life in black and white
And cursing every time the pieces no longer fit right
Loving you and hating you
I can't decide between the two
And wishing you were here to see the woman I've turned out to be
If I still see you every time I look in the mirror
How will I know what it feels like letting go?
I tell my feelings to no one
'Cause I don't want to show them that I still feel so alone
They all think I'm so strong
But if only they knew
That every night, I'm still haunted by visions of you
Sometimes it's so hard to keep my calm
I'm not the one who said goodbye
So why am I still let you make me cry
Didn't you know I still needed you in my life?
To hear a song and think of you
To run my hands over all your old clothes
Is this what it feels like letting go?
To see my life in black and white
And cursing every time the pieces no longer fit right
Loving you and hating you
I can't decide between the two
And wishing you were here to see the woman I've turned out to be
If I still see you every time I look in the mirror
How will I know what it feels like letting go?
If this is what it feels like letting go
Please don't close that curtain on me now
Not when I need you the most
Not when you're not here to pick me up off the ground
To hear a song and think of you
To run my hands over all your old clothes
Is this what it feels like letting go?
To see my life in black and white
And cursing every time the pieces no longer fit right
Loving you and hating you
I can't decide between the two
And wishing you were here to see the woman I've turned out to be
If I still see you every time I look in the mirror
How will I know what it feels like letting go?
To hear a song and think of you
To run my hands over all your old clothes
Is this what it feels like letting go?
To see my life in black and white
And cursing every time the pieces no longer fit right
Loving you and hating you
I can't decide between the two
And wishing you were here to see the woman I've turned out to be
If I still see you every time I look in the mirror
How will I know what it feels like letting go?
I saw a family and I couldn't help but wonder
Could that still be us?
Who would we be today?
Would I still smile and would I be happy
And would you be proud of me?
There's so many things I never got to say...
I wonder
I, surprisingly, wrote this one right before I fell asleep last night. Haven't we all just felt that instinctual need to be wanted? In my case, it, obviously, takes on a romantic form. To know that someone else has his eyes only on you can be a very euphoric feeling -- or so I'm told. I'm looking forward to finding out myself someday.
I won't pretend
That love was ever my friend
It always kept me on the outside looking in
The faces in the crowds see me, but they don't know
That every night, I do home alone
Seems like I'm the only one still searching for something
Will love ever let me in?
Will it ever see me for who I am?
I want to be who I'm supposed to be, but...
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
So I stumble along the empty streets
And trip over the cobblestones beneath my feet
No path to show me where I'm going
No road to lead me back home again
Always heavy, but feeling so empty
Always surrounded, but feeling so lonely
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
Will love ever let me in?
Will it ever see me for who I am?
I want to be who I'm supposed to be, but...
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
I won't pretend
That love was ever my friend
It always kept me on the outside looking in
The faces in the crowds see me, but they don't know
That every night, I do home alone
Seems like I'm the only one still searching for something
Will love ever let me in?
Will it ever see me for who I am?
I want to be who I'm supposed to be, but...
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
So I stumble along the empty streets
And trip over the cobblestones beneath my feet
No path to show me where I'm going
No road to lead me back home again
Always heavy, but feeling so empty
Always surrounded, but feeling so lonely
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
Will love ever let me in?
Will it ever see me for who I am?
I want to be who I'm supposed to be, but...
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
I wonder what it feels like to be wanted
To be wrapped up right in someone's arms and not be afraid
I wonder how it feels to have someone see you
Instead of just looking right through you
'Cause I want to feel that rush of butterflies on the insides
The soft whisper of hushed lullabies at night
But really, I just wonder what it feels like to stare into someone's eyes
And know that he wants you to want him too
To be loved
I've never thought I knew who I am
I never knew how hard I could cry
I started chasing the moment, but didn't know when I started believing the lie
The lie that said life would always be this way
The lie that said nothing could ever change
I thought my life ended when you left
I thought I'd have to walk on my own
But if I look deep inside, I know I'll never be alone
I want to be somebody, not just anybody
I want to stand out and break out from the ordinary
I want to be who I am, and have that be enough
I want what everyone else wants
I just want to be loved
It's amazing seeing life in color for the first time
And when you paint outside the lines, there's so much to rediscover
Like the warmth of the sun on my cheek, the sound of the rolling ocean and the way the grass tickles the bottom of my feet
I thought my life ended when you left
I thought I'd have to walk on my own
But if I look deep inside, I know I'll never be alone
I want to be somebody, not just anybody
I want to stand out and break out from the ordinary
I want to be who I am, and have that be enough
I want what everyone else wants
I just want to be loved
Don't want to hide it, don't want to fight it anymore
One minute you've got your whole life and the next minute it's passed you by
I thought my life ended when you left
I thought I'd have to walk on my own
But if I look deep inside, I know I'll never be alone
I want to be somebody, not just anybody
I want to stand out and break out from the ordinary
I want to be who I am, and have that be enough
I want what everyone else wants
I just want to be loved
I never knew how hard I could cry
I started chasing the moment, but didn't know when I started believing the lie
The lie that said life would always be this way
The lie that said nothing could ever change
I thought my life ended when you left
I thought I'd have to walk on my own
But if I look deep inside, I know I'll never be alone
I want to be somebody, not just anybody
I want to stand out and break out from the ordinary
I want to be who I am, and have that be enough
I want what everyone else wants
I just want to be loved
It's amazing seeing life in color for the first time
And when you paint outside the lines, there's so much to rediscover
Like the warmth of the sun on my cheek, the sound of the rolling ocean and the way the grass tickles the bottom of my feet
I thought my life ended when you left
I thought I'd have to walk on my own
But if I look deep inside, I know I'll never be alone
I want to be somebody, not just anybody
I want to stand out and break out from the ordinary
I want to be who I am, and have that be enough
I want what everyone else wants
I just want to be loved
Don't want to hide it, don't want to fight it anymore
One minute you've got your whole life and the next minute it's passed you by
I thought my life ended when you left
I thought I'd have to walk on my own
But if I look deep inside, I know I'll never be alone
I want to be somebody, not just anybody
I want to stand out and break out from the ordinary
I want to be who I am, and have that be enough
I want what everyone else wants
I just want to be loved
My heart
This was an interesting one to write, actually. I wrote it in 15 minutes while lying in bed a few nights ago. I think it pretty much sums up all my feelings and experiences - both in love and life - in the last six year.
They told me life wouldn't always be pretty
Seems I had to learn that the hard way
In a world where I once saw so much beauty
Now lingers the bitter after-taste of pain
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
If love is a joke, then I'm the punch line
At least that's the way everyone looks at me
A naive girl just biding her time
Waiting for something she'll never see
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
So I write down all these thoughts
Just to try and heal my broken heart
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
They told me life wouldn't always be pretty
Seems I had to learn that the hard way
In a world where I once saw so much beauty
Now lingers the bitter after-taste of pain
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
If love is a joke, then I'm the punch line
At least that's the way everyone looks at me
A naive girl just biding her time
Waiting for something she'll never see
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
So I write down all these thoughts
Just to try and heal my broken heart
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
My heart's been wounded
been tossed and turned
A beating bruise, an open scar that just won't heal
So please forgive me if I don't show you exactly how I truly feel
Wander around my heart
I sort of made like Taylor Swift in this one. It is about a specific person, though he's not mentioned by name, unless you figure out the code. But haven't we all met a guy who just makes us smile? And isn't it the greatest feeling ever?
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
I shouldn't be saying this, so I'll just write it all down instead
Maybe it'll make it easier to keep my feelings to myself
When every time you're around, I want to scream every word my heart has ever said
Do you ever see me turning into someone else?
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
Maybe it's just my thoughts getting the best of me again
But I wish I could tell you how I felt
Would that make a difference?
If only you knew what I dreamed about
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
'Cause when I wander closer to you
I want to scream these words out loud
Tell me, do you hear this restless noise too?
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
So maybe someday when you walk by
I just might stop you and say...hi
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
I shouldn't be saying this, so I'll just write it all down instead
Maybe it'll make it easier to keep my feelings to myself
When every time you're around, I want to scream every word my heart has ever said
Do you ever see me turning into someone else?
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
Maybe it's just my thoughts getting the best of me again
But I wish I could tell you how I felt
Would that make a difference?
If only you knew what I dreamed about
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
'Cause when I wander closer to you
I want to scream these words out loud
Tell me, do you hear this restless noise too?
So come and wander around my heart for awhile
'Cause your face lights up my sky when you smile
Getting lost in each other, just me and you
Silently dancing to the rhythm of our two heart beats
I might be getting in too deep, but we both know that you want me to wander around your heart too
So maybe someday when you walk by
I just might stop you and say...hi
Fell too fast
I met a boy and fell for him fast. We moved fast. Everything was such a rush, everything was perfect, we were so obsessed with each other. He would tell me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He would say “you're amazing” every hour. Except when he said it, it wasn’t just a line, it was the truth. The truth in his eyes. But I had to leave, and I knew I couldn’t do long distance. I have too ,any whims, I’m not good at being alone, I would have strayed. So I just cut off all contact, said cruel and hurtful things, pushed him away on purpose, alienated him so that he would leave me alone. Because it hurt too much to be friends, I thought it would be better to have no contact.
I was wrong. It was the stupidest decision of my life, because I find that not knowing someone well, can make you never get over them. The truth is, I don’t know him that well. What we had was short, it was over before I had a chance to see whether we were really good together, whether he was right for me. So all this time, even while I’ve had relationships with so many other guys, I always compare the new boys to one boy who I barely even knew, and they all fall short. Because his memory is so perfect, it’s so indestructible because it’s unfinished. I didn’t have time to discover his flaws, the little quirks that annoy, the arguments that break a couple a part. I didn’t give him a chance to show me that side of himself. All I have are the memories of that new, excited feeling. Of butterflies every time his fingers brushed my arm, of electric sparks every time we kissed, because it was so new, and unexpected and amazing. I have idealized this boy to the point where he is perfect in my eyes, and because of that, I can’t be satisfied with anyone else. But I can’t go back to him either, I cut off all ties, made it clear I never wanted to talk to him. He doesn’t know I think about him every day. He probably thinks he was completely insignificant, because I lied, and told him that he was. I swore I couldn’t care less. He has no idea. And I have no idea what it would be like to really be with him, have a real relationship with him, and I have to live with the fact that it is completely my fault. For being so proud, and so presumptuous to think I would get over him in two minutes. I never thought I’d hold on this long, to a ghost of a person. To an illusion of a person, that isn’t very likely a true reflection of him anyway.
And my advice to anyone reading this is, don’t let opportunities pass you by. Don’t dismiss people without thinking about how you may feel later. Don’t end something great, just because you think it would be too inconvenient to your life to let it continue. The truth is, everyone needs closure. Even if you do try something, and it’s difficult, and it ends, at least you know you tried. At least you know it was really the right decision to end it. You tried, and you failed. That’s okay, that’s something you’ll get over. But wondering, always wondering how it would have went if you had just let it happen, that’s torture. It’s the “what ifs” that keep me up at night. And the fact that he was strong enough to want me, to want to put up a fight for me, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight for him. And for the way I feel now, I have only myself to blame.
I was wrong. It was the stupidest decision of my life, because I find that not knowing someone well, can make you never get over them. The truth is, I don’t know him that well. What we had was short, it was over before I had a chance to see whether we were really good together, whether he was right for me. So all this time, even while I’ve had relationships with so many other guys, I always compare the new boys to one boy who I barely even knew, and they all fall short. Because his memory is so perfect, it’s so indestructible because it’s unfinished. I didn’t have time to discover his flaws, the little quirks that annoy, the arguments that break a couple a part. I didn’t give him a chance to show me that side of himself. All I have are the memories of that new, excited feeling. Of butterflies every time his fingers brushed my arm, of electric sparks every time we kissed, because it was so new, and unexpected and amazing. I have idealized this boy to the point where he is perfect in my eyes, and because of that, I can’t be satisfied with anyone else. But I can’t go back to him either, I cut off all ties, made it clear I never wanted to talk to him. He doesn’t know I think about him every day. He probably thinks he was completely insignificant, because I lied, and told him that he was. I swore I couldn’t care less. He has no idea. And I have no idea what it would be like to really be with him, have a real relationship with him, and I have to live with the fact that it is completely my fault. For being so proud, and so presumptuous to think I would get over him in two minutes. I never thought I’d hold on this long, to a ghost of a person. To an illusion of a person, that isn’t very likely a true reflection of him anyway.
And my advice to anyone reading this is, don’t let opportunities pass you by. Don’t dismiss people without thinking about how you may feel later. Don’t end something great, just because you think it would be too inconvenient to your life to let it continue. The truth is, everyone needs closure. Even if you do try something, and it’s difficult, and it ends, at least you know you tried. At least you know it was really the right decision to end it. You tried, and you failed. That’s okay, that’s something you’ll get over. But wondering, always wondering how it would have went if you had just let it happen, that’s torture. It’s the “what ifs” that keep me up at night. And the fact that he was strong enough to want me, to want to put up a fight for me, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight for him. And for the way I feel now, I have only myself to blame.
Friday, October 2, 2009
I loved you
Things I loved about you
The way you stared at me when I close my eyes, then you closed your eyes and I stared at you
How perfectly your hand fit in mine
How you seemed so strong on the outside, but I could tell you were so sweet on the inside
The way you said I love you, because you sounded so shy
How during that first time we were alone, when we held hands and talked for hours and finally kissed after so long
How you were so interested in my life and what I was doing
How you remembered everything I said to you perfectly
When you texted me randomly (as little as that may be)
When you told me I’m one of the most perfect girls you’ve ever met
How you were too shy to hold my hand, in case I didn’t want you to
The awkward moments - because they weren’t really awkward at all
Sitting at the table with your family and enjoying myself and you too
Taking photo booth pictures with you and you made the best faces I’ve ever seen
Getting high together off cordial and coke and making weird animal sounds as we walked back to your house
The way you made me feel after we made out for an hour
How you told me I looked great every time we saw each other - despite how untrue I thought it was
How I sat on your lap when we went on the computer together, and your legs fell asleep but you didn’t care, as long as I was sitting that close to you
How even on the coldest nights, you lent me your sweater
How much you have passions for things
Your laugh
How you always made fun of me - I secretly loved it
Your smile
What a loser you are, because I am too
How you admitted defeat and say sorry when I wouldn’t let you win a fight
The way you made the butterflies in my stomach flutter every time I saw your smile
How much you made me love you.
But now they are things of the past, since we broke up. I’m slowly getting over every one of these ways I loved you by replacing them with things I don’t like about you. I don’t think it’s working too well, though, because I know they will each still be in the back of my head because you were my first love and I will never forget you or a single thing that I loved about you. And truthfully, I still love most of those things. I’ll miss every one of them.
The way you stared at me when I close my eyes, then you closed your eyes and I stared at you
How perfectly your hand fit in mine
How you seemed so strong on the outside, but I could tell you were so sweet on the inside
The way you said I love you, because you sounded so shy
How during that first time we were alone, when we held hands and talked for hours and finally kissed after so long
How you were so interested in my life and what I was doing
How you remembered everything I said to you perfectly
When you texted me randomly (as little as that may be)
When you told me I’m one of the most perfect girls you’ve ever met
How you were too shy to hold my hand, in case I didn’t want you to
The awkward moments - because they weren’t really awkward at all
Sitting at the table with your family and enjoying myself and you too
Taking photo booth pictures with you and you made the best faces I’ve ever seen
Getting high together off cordial and coke and making weird animal sounds as we walked back to your house
The way you made me feel after we made out for an hour
How you told me I looked great every time we saw each other - despite how untrue I thought it was
How I sat on your lap when we went on the computer together, and your legs fell asleep but you didn’t care, as long as I was sitting that close to you
How even on the coldest nights, you lent me your sweater
How much you have passions for things
Your laugh
How you always made fun of me - I secretly loved it
Your smile
What a loser you are, because I am too
How you admitted defeat and say sorry when I wouldn’t let you win a fight
The way you made the butterflies in my stomach flutter every time I saw your smile
How much you made me love you.
But now they are things of the past, since we broke up. I’m slowly getting over every one of these ways I loved you by replacing them with things I don’t like about you. I don’t think it’s working too well, though, because I know they will each still be in the back of my head because you were my first love and I will never forget you or a single thing that I loved about you. And truthfully, I still love most of those things. I’ll miss every one of them.
danger
the danger of a broken heart is not the pain.
not the tears, or anger.
not the ache, not the loneliness,
not the quiet, the empty seat, the bed now much too big.
the danger of a broken heart is what we have to repair it with.
mistrust, hopelessness, faux comfort.
independence.
the oaths we take. what we swear to ourselves.
the danger is self-reliance.
the danger is that these stitches in our heart don't fall out.
that they are there to stay.
because they must.
the danger is that we know it isn't about love anymore.
and,
it isn't about how perfect we are in our world.
it's about how perfect we are in theirs.
the danger is that two became one.
and a half of one...
well.
half is not whole.
but now we must make it so.
weheartit
not the tears, or anger.
not the ache, not the loneliness,
not the quiet, the empty seat, the bed now much too big.
the danger of a broken heart is what we have to repair it with.
mistrust, hopelessness, faux comfort.
independence.
the oaths we take. what we swear to ourselves.
the danger is self-reliance.
the danger is that these stitches in our heart don't fall out.
that they are there to stay.
because they must.
the danger is that we know it isn't about love anymore.
and,
it isn't about how perfect we are in our world.
it's about how perfect we are in theirs.
the danger is that two became one.
and a half of one...
well.
half is not whole.
but now we must make it so.
weheartit
half is not a whole
the danger of a broken heart is not the pain.
not the tears, or anger.
not the ache, not the loneliness,
not the quiet, the empty seat, the bed now much too big.
the danger of a broken heart is what we have to repair it with.
mistrust, hopelessness, faux comfort.
independence.
the oaths we take. what we swear to ourselves.
the danger is self-reliance.
the danger is that these stitches in our heart don't fall out.
that they are there to stay.
because they must.
the danger is that we know it isn't about love anymore.
and,
it isn't about how perfect we are in our world.
it's about how perfect we are in theirs.
the danger is that two became one.
and a half of one...
well.
half is not whole.
but now we must make it so.
not the tears, or anger.
not the ache, not the loneliness,
not the quiet, the empty seat, the bed now much too big.
the danger of a broken heart is what we have to repair it with.
mistrust, hopelessness, faux comfort.
independence.
the oaths we take. what we swear to ourselves.
the danger is self-reliance.
the danger is that these stitches in our heart don't fall out.
that they are there to stay.
because they must.
the danger is that we know it isn't about love anymore.
and,
it isn't about how perfect we are in our world.
it's about how perfect we are in theirs.
the danger is that two became one.
and a half of one...
well.
half is not whole.
but now we must make it so.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
